The Fender Telecaster is the perfect guitar. There, I said it and I know there are those that disagree, but for me nothing beats a Tele. A simple plank of wood with no frills that just feels right, a true workhorse. Better yet, who needs two pickups? The Esquire can handle the job. Can it take a beating? You bet. I’ve thrown them, ripped the strings off, left them in frozen trucks and sweltering car trunks and played them until the paint fell off and they became real relics from night after night of playing them. The Telecaster won’t let you down.
Don’t panic! It’s the Spanics!
“While it’s tempting to say that the world needs more music like the Spanic Boys, the truth is that nobody makes music quite like the Spanics.”
– David Wild, senior editor, ROLLING STONE magazine
Spanic Boys 
Damn right! I used to be a “Stratsnob” until I visited the local music shop one day after contending with my then girl friend’s latest bitchy-screechy bi-polar episode. The Tele hanging on the wall beckoned me. “I’ll never screech at you or ask you for money bail my wothless kid out of jail”, she whispered. “I’m a return so you can even get a discount on me”, she whispered. So I took her home with me that very day. She’s tough. I used her to club a hippopotamus to death and she didn’t even get out of tune. We’ve been together for 3 years now. She dosen’t mind if I ocassionally play other guitars. But I just couldn’t